Regret- A Form of Grief?
ORION WELLNESS NEWSLETTER Vol. 3 No. 6
This is a reprint of my recently published blog. I thought you might find this interesting take on regrets.
Regret- A Form of Grief?
Perhaps you have heard people say “I have regret for not …” or “I regret doing …”and others carrying regrets to their grave.
Yet many of us carry regrets most of our lives. We regret doing/saying/ignoring or not doing/saying/ignoring something or someone. Maybe it was not following our “gut instinct or intuition”. Then it comes back to haunt us. It can become a grief event if left unchecked. We begin to slip from wellness into grief.
Earlier I was talking with a friend and colleague when regret was mentioned. We talked about the regret and I surmised that it could be unresolved grief. Look at it this way, if you decided to work instead of being at a family event, you missed an opportunity and probably have regrets. Then it happens a month or so later, the regrets pile up. The day comes when you realize ‘I missed my child’s (you fill in the blank)’. Shame and guilt creep into your life. It may be followed with sadness, anger, frustration, etc. This is similar to a loss or grief event. You lost something and now you grieve its loss.
How do you break the cycle of regret? You need to take action to break the chains of sorrow, anger and other feelings that bring you back into regretful grief.
Find what works to release the regrets. You can use self- forgiveness, decide to change, take action to be present where you want to be, allocate more time to be at those memorable moments, etc.
I found that self- forgiveness releases regret and its grief quickly and permanently. It makes me become present in the moment. I also release living in the past which doesn’t serve me and become present where I need to be. Where do you want to be- pain and sorrow from the past, or happiness and peace in the present?
Embrace and love all of yourself - past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.
If you are interested in purchasing my book, “Grief, The Mind’s Final Frontier”, you can go to my website: www.orionconsultingllc.net, click on Sample Book Chapter and go down to Book Purchase. You can choose between Amazon (paper or Kindle), or my publisher. Thanks.
LIve fully through wellness,
Robert Matuszak, CGC, Owner
Orion Consulting LLC