Unschooling


Photo: With Alanna Amora at the National American Miss Pageant Open Call
My kids have been telling me stories lately about how their traditionally schooled friends make fun of them, calling them stupid or dumb. Here is a recent conversation between my 9yo, Alanna Amora and one of neighbors.

the 13yo: "You're just stupid. You don't know anything because you don't go to school."

Alanna: "I'm not stupid."

the 13yo: "Yes you are. I bet you don't even know what 1 + 1 is."

Alanna: "Don't be ridiculous."

the 13yo: "You won't answer the question because you don't know."

Alanna: "Of course I do."

the 13yo: "Then say it!"

Alanna sits in silence

the 13yo: "See! You're just an idiot!"

Alanna: "If I'm so stupid, what does solipsistic mean?"

the 13yo: "That's not even a word. You're just making things up to try to sound smart."

Alanna: "You're the idiot."

I was proud of my baby girl for standing her ground, and not taking it personally the way her 7yo brother does. My son internalizes that nonsense and begins to think that he is indeed, stupid. It breaks my heart to have to tell him over + over again that he is brilliant and beautiful, because someone else teaches their children that intolerance + judgement are acceptable ways of life.

I just need to share a few thoughts regarding my decision to embrace the alternative homeschooling method known as "Unschooling.' I don't practice unschooling because I am too lazy to teach my kids properly, or because I don't value education. I don't unschool because I am sheltering them from the "real world" or because I hate society.

I unschool my children because I trust that they are intelligent beings, capable of learning and that they will learn anything and everything they need to be successful adults. I believe that learning what you're ready to learn, when you're ready to learn it and HOW you are able to learn it, will give you knowledge to last a lifetime. And I know in my heart of hearts that they will. 

My children ate their first foods when they grabbed it with their chubby little fists and pushed it into their chubby little mouths. I didn't sit by their side with a spoon coaxing and crooning, spending months "teaching" them how to eat. They knew instinctively what to do because eating is part of living. 

They learned to crawl and walk the same way, when it came naturally to them. I have no need as a parent to worry if my kids are going to function faster or better than any of the other kids, because I know that they will learn exactly what they need to, exactly when they need to, in the exact way that they need to. 


Unschooling is not about NOT learning. It is about learning naturally. It is about allowing a children to grow into their skills in the time and space that is right for them. It is NOT about schedules, timelines, measurements, grades, coercion, force, persuasion or browbeating. It is about facilitating the natural love of learning that is in the heart of every individual. 

My kids learn in the way that I believe is right and good for us. I don't insult other families for making choices that I don't agree with, I don't understand why they need to insult mine. Can't we all just get along?

My kids may learn some things "behind schedule" and they may learn some things "ahead of schedule" and some things they may not learn at all. Honestly, I don't care about any of the schedules. I just care that they embrace their natural talents and abilities and develop them into a career direction. I care that they are learning and growing and being the best people that they can be. 


Deborah Lighthart
Metaphysical Fitness Coach
Offering Intuitive Readings, Life Coaching
+ Energy Healing
www.deborahlighthart.com