Self Forgiveness


Self forgiveness
by Cheryll Ann O'Callaghan

Why do we need to forgive ourselves?  If we have done something to others that needs forgiveness, then forgiveness would have to come from the persons we harmed. So if we are looking for self forgiveness that is saying that we have harmed ourselves.  I see that thought process as a vicious cycle. Those of us looking to forgive ourselves first become aware (1st pain) that we harmed ourselves. We then energy slap ourselves, (2nd pain) for harming ourselves in the first place.  Then they will get upset (3rd pain) for energy slapping ourselves and begin to feel hopelessness because we are still upset, (4th pain)  if not more so, as when we started. No forgiveness is experienced.

 I believe it is important to redefine what is meant by self forgiveness by first understanding the healthy vibration of "Forgiveness". It is not believing that we must feel like it was ok what someone has done. I believe that really degrades our self worth. The healthier perception is actually “no longer willing to carry around pain in response to an action”. This healthy perception of forgiveness empowers us to not carry around pain and it gives us self worth. We no longer have to play the “victim” role.

Empowering ourselves not to carry around pain. Let that sink in. Now that we have a healthier perception of forgiveness, it is important to understand pain. (article on pain) Pain comes from resistance. When we stop resisting in recognizing the mirrors placed in front of us for life lessons (about self) we stop carrying around pain. Pain is a tool to alert us to pay attention. We do not need to carry our tools around with us.    
As we begin to allow ourselves to recognize the mirrors, we give attention to and use the pain to get to the emotion that is ready to lead us to a belief our inner child holds. We can put the tool (pain) to rest and not carry it around. We have just forgiven ourselves. (Forgiveness-Empowering self to not carry around pain.)

Example: You felt pain from something you said about another person. Since that person did not hear what you said she did not feel the pain. Therefore the pain you felt was not empathic it was coming from self. It is your pain, and you caused it. You feel you need to forgive yourself for causing this pain. If you use the old perception of forgiveness you must first acknowledge you did something wrong that caused you pain. The pain cycle begins. Instead, through the healthier perception of forgiveness, allow yourself to recognize the mirror and what it has to teach you.

The gal that brought forth the hurting words you spoke is the mirror (a reflection of self, looking at self, saying words to inner child) that caused you pain. Use the pain, what does it mean to you? What do you feel? Label it, as an emotion. This might take some time but keep connecting to the pain and ask it what it is. At first you might not be confident that you recognize it, so it is ok to guess. Disrespect? Vulnerability? Shame?  Once you say the emotion the pain is connected to you will get a physical reaction (chills, goose bumps, prickles). Your inner child is ready (it is now safe) to look at what you are carrying around. You can release the pain (cry, spit, whatever) and put it to rest. You have forgiven yourself. You empowered yourself and no longer carry the pain.

Now..... Once we recognize the emotion, and released the pain, we can begin to learn our lesson (belief) about ourselves. This is when the soul journey goes further inward.

Cheryll Ann O’Callaghan
 as eternal essence embodied   -->
--   We are Free Sovereign Be'ings  "Do'ing" according to our original purpose with Source  through self responsibility and liability  Cheryll Ann O'Callaghan  as eternal essence embodied