Years ago, I asked myself a hard question. "What is more important, looking like a good person or actually being a good person?" I was surprised & disappointed at my own answer. At the time, it was so much more important to me that other people thought highly of me, than to actually feel good about my choices. So, I would stress myself to the max trying to please everyone around me, so they would think I was a good person even if it created hostility & negativity within me. Sometimes I'd spend more money than I actually had for gifts to impress the people I love, feeling extra offended if they didn't appreciate my sacrifices. Sometimes I'd help a friend when I was completely exhausted, so I would end up resenting & venting about that person for taking more than I could comfortably give. Sometimes I would "take the high road" when I was truly needing to protect my boundaries because people were walking all over me, then I would sit around & feel sorry for myself because all I did was give give give, and all the people around me did was take take take.

After a lifetime of trying so hard to be a "good daughter," "good sister," "good friend," "good employee," & "good mother" in everyone else's eyes, I decided that I needed to actually just be a good person in my own eyes, making choices that I can feel good about. Choices that create Love & Joy & Peace in me. Choices that sometimes mean I have to say no to helping the friend to tend to some need of my own. Choices that mean scaling back on what I can do for others to a point that is comfortable for me. That means sometimes I may disappoint the people around me & I've become ok with that. I've forgiven myself for being human and having needs & wants. I'm understanding that I can show love for others without having to bend my own beliefs. I'm accepting that sometimes I will be a "bad person" in someone else's eyes in order to be a "good person" in my own.

When my life prevents me from sending out thank you cards or Christmas cards, from meeting deadlines or making cookies for school functions, from vacumming my living room or making dinner on time, I forgive myself and support myself in doing what is right & good for me. I'm working to love myself, knowing that at any given moment I am the best person I can be without worry of what others will think of me. When I free myself of other people's expectations, I can live according to my own Divine Plan and so can you.

This article was brought to you by Deborah Lighthart, Psychic Advisor, Energy Healer & Visionary Artist. Deborah has been a professional psychic reader for over 12 years offering her services by phone, online & in-person. Her private office is located at Feronia Wellness Center, N112W16760 Mequon Road in Germantown, WI 53022. For more information, please visit or call 262.377.8885 


Anonymous said…
You are touched by peace. When you are peace you allow others to be peace also. I'm proud of you for giving yourself permission.~ Red Buffalo Woman
Thank you, my sister. Your beautiful words & your beautiful heart are such a gift. <3